1. Wear the proper brands
Something like a Supreme hat is a must for the elitist / cool guy image. It’s amazing how a little brand logo can instantly turn a normal human being into someone that is “in the know” and “down with the homies”.
2. Don’t get too excited
Remember, there’s no reason to get too hyped on anything, because nothing is as cool as you.
3. Never acknowledge anyone first
See some skate rat you know at the bar? Your friend’s friend, maybe even a co-worker? Ignore them. The cool guy is never the dude tapping people on the shoulder and introducing themselves – He’s always the dude being recognized, like a rockstar. And when you are noticed, don’t act too happy. Smiling is for chumps and suck-ups.
4. Always roll with the homies
Going anywhere alone, even for a second can make you feel vulnerable and look like a loser. Cool guys are always surrounded by homies because everyone wants to be around them. And let’s face it, a group of badass skaters is intimidating, and intimidating = cool!
5. Don’t skate too much
People who skate really hard all day are just trying to compensate for the lack of something else (job, girlfriend, penis size..etc). So once you skate around a bit, sit down because you are “so hungover” from the “crazy night you had last night” and just watch everyone else. Remember, cool guys don’t really skate, they just smoke cigs and silently judge everyone else that is.
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August 5, 2012 9:52 am
This site needs more smut!
September 26, 2012 5:46 am
people still don’t get the joke even though the words “cool guy” are in quotation marks in the title
maybe that’s the joke
April 11, 2013 1:53 am
This post is great. Allthough I am not sure do people have sense of humor in US after reading the comments.
Jesus, in Finland this guy would instantly got laid after writing this.