
1. The Shirtless Headphones Guy aka The Goon
– Must blast shitty music on headphones at all times.
– Must skate totally oblivious to you or anything else going on around him.
– Skullcandy or Dre Beats only.
– Optional T-shirt takeoff and crappy uncoordinated style.
2. The Benchwarmer
-“Skates” (rides around the park one time and then sits down to smoke cigarettes / txt people on his phone.)
-Must sit on bench or ledges and block you over and over again.
-Will spit on the ground and write dumb shit like “RYAN IZ LAME” on obstacles with black sharpie.
-Has nothing better to do.
3. The Sketchball
-Smoking weed or cigarettes highly recommended.
-Must not skateboard.
-Must sit around everyone else’s stuff and look sketchy / make skaters paranoid.
-May steal your iPod/Phone/Wallet and run as fast as he can.
-Will be caught and beat up by Koston.
4. The Ramp Tramp
-Ages 13 – 17.
-Comes in all shapes and sizes: Pre-teen, Goth, Emo.
-Thinks “other girls suck”.
5. The Group of Kids That ONLY Play S.K.A.T.E.
-Ages 13 – 18.
-Will play SKATE at bottom of the miniramp, bowl, or next to an obstacle you want to skate.
-Must never actually skate the rest of the park.
-Get picked up by parents.
6. The Kids Who Slide Down The Ramps aka The Chucky Cheezes
-Ages 3 – 6.
-Must use entire skatepark like giant playground.
-Real playground must be very close.
-Must make you never want to have kids.
7. The Pre-Teen Scooter Kid aka The Twerp
-Ages 6 – 12.
-Must get in your way 99% of the time.
-Must only try quadruple tailwhips.
-Must wear helmet too big for head.
-Must look like an asshole.
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August 5, 2013 7:14 pm
Holy fuck im looking around and im seeing every bit of this list even the kid wit the skooter in his mouf
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August 14, 2013 11:46 pm
Those little 3-6 yr olds look up to you dudes. They don’t get that sliding down your cool ramp is not “skater style”. Their moms just want them to like it and get into skating. That is why they bring these little nuisances to your cool ass skate park. Think of it like you are Trever Keith and people are coming to see you cause they love you. Get over it. It’s your moment of stardom.
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January 15, 2014 3:19 pm
I was that kid thirty years ago. If it were not for the older guys teaching me it is not about the tricks, it’s about the skating, I would have never continued. They also taught me to respect the flow and never give up.
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August 29, 2013 11:29 am
there are no ramp tramp in italy. so sad :(
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August 29, 2013 11:57 pm
At least you guys labeled the age group for the scooter riders correctly.
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