
1. The Shirtless Headphones Guy aka The Goon
– Must blast shitty music on headphones at all times.
– Must skate totally oblivious to you or anything else going on around him.
– Skullcandy or Dre Beats only.
– Optional T-shirt takeoff and crappy uncoordinated style.
2. The Benchwarmer
-“Skates” (rides around the park one time and then sits down to smoke cigarettes / txt people on his phone.)
-Must sit on bench or ledges and block you over and over again.
-Will spit on the ground and write dumb shit like “RYAN IZ LAME” on obstacles with black sharpie.
-Has nothing better to do.
3. The Sketchball
-Smoking weed or cigarettes highly recommended.
-Must not skateboard.
-Must sit around everyone else’s stuff and look sketchy / make skaters paranoid.
-May steal your iPod/Phone/Wallet and run as fast as he can.
-Will be caught and beat up by Koston.
4. The Ramp Tramp
-Ages 13 – 17.
-Comes in all shapes and sizes: Pre-teen, Goth, Emo.
-Thinks “other girls suck”.
5. The Group of Kids That ONLY Play S.K.A.T.E.
-Ages 13 – 18.
-Will play SKATE at bottom of the miniramp, bowl, or next to an obstacle you want to skate.
-Must never actually skate the rest of the park.
-Get picked up by parents.
6. The Kids Who Slide Down The Ramps aka The Chucky Cheezes
-Ages 3 – 6.
-Must use entire skatepark like giant playground.
-Real playground must be very close.
-Must make you never want to have kids.
7. The Pre-Teen Scooter Kid aka The Twerp
-Ages 6 – 12.
-Must get in your way 99% of the time.
-Must only try quadruple tailwhips.
-Must wear helmet too big for head.
-Must look like an asshole.
Related Posts
Comments
Popular
-
ANGELA WHITE IS BRINGING SKATING’S MOST ICONIC CAMERA BACK INTO PORN
Her 2000s, gonzo-inspired tour de force was filmed completely on the sleek, sexy, grainy VX2000.
-
WATCH A VIDEO FROM KAZAKHSTAN’S ONLY SKATESHOP
Wallride skateshop's video "Dirty People" showcases unfamiliar spots in unfamiliar territories.
-
VISIT THE EDITING DESK OF SOME OF SKATING’S FAVORITE FILMMAKERS
Knick knacks and rage quits to uncomfortable chairs and editing Andrew Reynolds.
-
A SMOKE BREAK CHAT WITH KYNAN TAIT, FILMER FOR EPICLY LATER’D
Kynan has made his impact quietly, operating as the silent hand in the background behind one of skateboarding’s favorite shows.
-
WILL ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE CHANGE THE WAY SKATE CONTESTS ARE JUDGED?
"Most sports work in absolutes. A strike is a strike because it is within the strike zone. A kickflip isn’t absolute."
May 8, 2013 11:29 am
you are forgetting the local park ripper, and or the snobby sponsored flow trash kid who thinks hes a hot shot but in reality he just gets free boards and thats it
Leave a reply
May 8, 2013 11:45 pm
Graffiti writers!
Leave a reply
May 9, 2013 2:07 am
inaccurate and offensive to those people who do everything at the park. skate park
Leave a reply