![](https://cdn.jenkemmag.com/mediaAssetsMaster/2023/04/swamp_ass-scaled.jpg)
Summer’s quickly approaching, and nothing is more synonymous with a mid-day summer skate than swamp ass. If you are unfamiliar with the term, here’s a few ways to know if it has affected you personally: Your pop feels weighed down by 10 pounds of sweat-soaked denim and sitting on your board resulted in a Picasso-esque outline of your cheeks and crack.
Unfortunately, I am not here to offer a solution, and growing up in Florida taught me it’s easier to embrace the swamp than fight it. However, after watching hours of footage staring at skaters’ asses I can offer a few takeaways; try and film your clips frontside, avoid khakis at all costs, and wearing shorts doesn’t guarantee anything.
To try and make you feel better about your impending dampness, I’ve gathered a list of clips highlighting the best of this summer phenomenon.
THE KHAKI CLASSIC
Danny Renaud is a staple of the early 2000s khaki warriors, and I knew if I watched enough footage I’d find a prime example of swamp ass. I got excited when I saw Danny’s title card showing the mossy oaks of Florida’s humid streets and three minutes into Habitat’s “Mosaic” I found a true gem.
THE LOADED DIAPER
Chris Joslin is somewhat of a serial offender in this category, and the combination of his short stature and baggy khakis led to a case of the damp diaper in this one. Hey Ethika, make my man some moisture-wicking underwear already!
THE HUMID HOG
Blake’s a Florida legend, and while he’s relocated to California being a part of this list proves one thing: you can leave the swamp but the swamp never leaves you. I’m used to seeing wild boars in Florida’s marshes, but this is my first time seeing Blake’s humid hog.
THE SOGGY BACKSIDE
This clip has it all. A low angle, frontside boardslide, massive hubba, and bright filmer flash. Add in a low-pressure system moving up the coast and we’d have a perfect swamp ass storm on our hands. I just hope Forrest Kirby celebrated his late-night clip with a late-night shower.
THE DUNK TANK
What happened here, Bobby? Did you lose a bet and have to get dunked or are these actually board shorts and you just got done with the backstroke? Whatever the reason, I have to respect it. Nike, please add Bobby to the swim roster.
THE GOAT DRIP
The rolled-up pant leg, the David Bowie mix of an Iggy Pop classic, the perfect switch 5-0 180 (at the start of this line). I should leave this clip out of the list, but damn, this video had some seriously damp moments. It seems capri pants do nothing for airflow.
THE WETSUIT
Luan’s outfit reminds me of what I looked like after attending my high school’s homecoming dance; drenched in sweat in my best church clothes. I guess grinding to Lil John is comparable to a long day of street skating.
THE PEEKABOO
Just when Trevor Thompson thought he was gonna get away with it the nollie flick revealed a perfect landing strip of sweat, making this clip something I’ve dubbed the peekaboo. While this may make you think of the childhood game, I urge you to keep the kids at home.
SAOTY- SWAMP ASS OF THE YEAR
“Wet,” is a term used to describe a trick done effortlessly and is often brought up in Ishod’s skating, but for the point of this list, I’m going to use the term to describe his soggy shorts. 2023 fashion Ishod would never let this happen.
Related Posts
Comments
Popular
-
INSIDE THE MIND OF ROGER BAGLEY
From success doctors to controversial guests, this one’s long and Roger didn't hold back.
-
A CHAT WITH LUDVIG HAKANSSON, THE OLDEST SOUL IN SKATEBOARDING
The man loves to read Nietzche, skates in some expensive vintage gear, and paints in his own neoclassical-meets-abstract-expressionist style.
-
HOW A TENNIS BALL SPARKED SHAWN HALE TO INVENT HIS OWN FOOTWEAR
It's not a new grip tape formula or some sort of carbon moon pop deck. Instead, Shawn Hale created a shoe for rehab and recovery.
-
OUR NEW SERIES “SKATEPARK PROFILES” POINTS THE CAMERA ON YOU
Dedicated to the skaters and locals keeping shops in business and the scene vibrant.
-
LEFT ON READ: EFRON DANZIG
Our new series where your favorite skaters share notes, camera roll photos, memes, movie recommendations and more.
May 17, 2023 7:56 am
Really reaching for content with this one,
Leave a reply
May 19, 2023 12:05 am
This is some Buzzfeed shit
Leave a reply
May 21, 2023 6:28 am
Can you still 50 a ledge with those wheels? I like to skate my cruiser sometimes but one of my wheels broke the other day. F’in slimeballs!
follow me on instagram @qamaristarks
Leave a reply
May 21, 2023 11:42 am
lol, what an amazing observation that acts as fodder for a video thread. The fact you gathered the amount of footage you did, is kind of impressive.
Leave a reply