I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Jenkem is at war with USPS. Why? Because they keep losing our shit. Why should you care? Because they are the reason we are bringing you a Game Boy Camera photo recap.

Seriously though, this camera is almost impossible to use, but in the name of spicing up boring event coverage, we tried our best. If you want to play a fun game, attempt to decipher who we took a photo of before reading the captions, and don’t worry, there are also normal, pore and wrinkle-filled photos throughout.

Host extraordinaire Madars Apse welcomed us in fresh off a flight from Japan. I’m not sure if it’s the glass of whisky on ice or the fact that the venue looks like an expensive yacht, but this photo exudes Wolf of Wall Street.

This is Madars in Game Boy vision. While it’s hard to make out anything but a white hat, I can assure you a couple of classic photo booth poses went down before and after.

As you know, we pulled up with a Nintendo product, so we were hyped to see Father Bop repping the FTI Xbox hat. Gamers unite! It actually took so long to get the camera lighting right that Bop had to go straight back to the bar after this. Thanks for chugging and chatting Bop.

Father Bop, 264 pixel mugshot style.

As a retired bartender, I consider this the cocktail matchup of the year. Espresso Martini vs Aperol Spritz. One keeps an NYC night going, but the other is oh so European. Which one is the true hot girl drink of the summer? I’ll let you decide.

For a trained actor and model, Evan Mock sure had a hard time making eye contact with the camera all night. Jk, I’m just spreading a little bit of gossip ;)

You know what they say about NYC… If you stay long enough you transform into a DJ. Well, that or an “abstract painter”. That’s actually Evan Mock on the decks, showing the crowd the power of having a diverse resume.

I swear this is a picture of two hotties but you’re gonna have to use your imagination to fill in the fuzz on this one.

There’s nothing like a room where you have to hold your beer high and suck in your stomach to move a couple inches. It truly separates the strong from the weak, but when there’s a timer on the open bar you bet I’m squeezing through.

If I had a penny for every time someone told me they were good at pool and then whiffed the break shot, I’d at least have 25 cents. That may not sound like a lot, but in most bars that will get you a 1/4 of the way closer to your next penny.

Here’s Jiro Platt doing what skaters do best: Disobeying clearly marked signs. Well, I guess he’s smirking a little. If I was in a popular bar amongst skaters and gorgeous women at 18 I’d be cheesing ear to ear, but that’s just me.

Reduced to pixels and a color palette of greys and blues, it’s amazing you can still see that damn Redbull logo. Hats off (well, no, that would be a breach of contract) to Redbull for nailing the branding.

Steven Stinson, self proclaimed skate guru for Evan, and Carl Aikens, who has probably self proclaimed himself as a style guru, were favorites all night. I love Steven, because he keeps the Blue Park beers flowing, which is arguably the only way to pass time there.

I’m sure Carl’s modeling portfolio is bursting at the seams, but who else can say they’ve gotten headshot work done on a Game Boy? The underwear and fragrance booking agents are about to come knocking.

People have a lot of rules when it comes to drinking. Don’t mix light and dark liquors. Drink a glass of water after every drink. This is my personal favorite. Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear. Beer before liquor, you’ll throw the devil horns in every photo.

I’m not sure what I’m saying here, but I do want to issue a formal apology to anyone I’ve drunkenly yapped to or made plans to skate with. I don’t remember what I said, and hopefully, you don’t either.

The best part of taking photos on this thing all night were the questions that followed. My favorite of the night had to be “Can you airdrop that to me?”

All nights spent in a bar should have a 15-minute intermission where everyone quietly watches a video. It’s such a good time to check in with yourself and think “Am I really in the friend zone?” or “Was that tequila shot worth it?”

Photos by: Cole Giordano and Wilson Lucas
Intro and braindead captions by: Ben Komins
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